Singles & Couples

Man, this past week was something else, you know? I always keep an eye on these weekly love forecasts, not just for myself, but for my buddies too. And when I saw the one for Virgos pop up, talking about “Singles & Couples” and all that jazz, I kinda braced myself. I’ve got a couple of Virgo pals, and let me tell you, their love lives are usually a masterclass in overthinking. So, I figured I’d pay extra close attention to what unfolded.

First off, let’s talk about my single Virgo friend, Sarah. Bless her heart, she’s a gem, but her brain just doesn’t quit. At the start of the week, I saw her diving headfirst into her work. Like, really, really diving in. She was hitting deadlines, organizing everything to a T, and basically just burying herself in tasks. If you’d asked her about dating, she’d just sigh and wave you off, saying she didn’t have time for “frivolous distractions.” I even tried to set her up with a guy I knew, and she gave me this look like I’d suggested she start skydiving without a parachute. She said she’d “consider it,” which, from Sarah, means “absolutely not, unless I’ve analyzed every possible outcome.”

Then, around mid-week, I started to notice a shift. She was still glued to her laptop, sure, but I caught her swiping through a dating app during a coffee break, totally trying to be sneaky about it. Her usual laser focus seemed a tiny bit fractured. She started complaining, in her very Virgo way, about how “inefficient” the dating scene was, how people didn’t know how to fill out a profile properly, or how their grammar was just atrocious. I saw her scroll past dozens of perfectly decent profiles, muttering about mismatched fonts or badly cropped photos. It was wild to watch. She even went on one date – finally! – and came back with a full dossier on the poor fella. His table manners weren’t up to snuff, he used the wrong fork for his salad, and he talked a bit too much about his cat. She basically wrote him off right there, listing all his “deficiencies” like she was reviewing a faulty product.

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