By Dung Huynh 
People kept arguing online about Sheikh Zayed Stadium boundaries, everyone throwing out different numbers. Goddammit, I thought, nobody actually knows for sure? Wanted solid facts before the next match, so figured I’d just go measure it myself. Who cares if it’s crazy?
The Plan Goes Slightly Off the Rails
Grabbed my gear, feeling kinda smart:
- Decent GPS tool on the phone
- Measuring wheel thingy
- Old-school 100-meter measuring tape
- My buddy Paul, mostly for moral support (and laughs)
Got to the stadium super early, sun already blasting. Security guy looked at the wheel and tape like we were nuts. “Just fans, sir!” Paul yelled, flashing tickets. Somehow got in.
Actually Trying to Measure This Beast
Walked straight to the boundary rope. Hit start on the GPS app first. Instantly useless. Signal bounced everywhere inside the damn bowl. Swore loudly.
Switched to the measuring wheel. Started rolling near the sight screen. Two meters in, hit a stupid sprinkler head. Wheel jumped. 27 meters? Yeah right. Kicked the thing. Paul laughed his head off. Tried again near square leg. Ground felt uneven, wheel wobbled like mad, numbers all over the place. Sweat pouring into my eyes. Utter mess.
Okay, fine. Time for the tape. Tried laying the 100-meter tape down near mid-wicket. Wind caught it halfway, snaked across the grass like some plastic viper. Chased the freaking tape like an idiot. Paul just filmed it. Probably going on his feed later. Gave up halfway through the wind fight.
Hid in the shade for a minute. Brain kicked in. Saw markers spaced out for the grounds crew – maybe they were accurate? Took giant steps between two markers near the pavilion. Paul counted. Did it three times. Averaged it out. Painful, but something.
Found this slightly rusty groundskeeper stake behind the ropes. Threw a piece of tape on it. Measured straight from there to the rope in sections with that short tape we had left. Backtracked like crazy, scribbling numbers on my sweaty arm. Looked like a mad scientist.
What We Actually Found (Spoiler: It’s Messy)
Nothing is even close to the same all the way around. Straight boundaries? Mid-70 meters felt right. Cow corner though? My scribble-scrabbled numbers put it way longer, almost pushing 80 meters! Near the pavilion side felt shorter, maybe 68-ish? That’s where Paul nearly tripped. Those official “Average 72m” numbers everyone quotes? Total fantasy land.
By the time we bailed, Paul was sunburned, I had grass stains on my knees, and we both smelled like a locker room. Worth it? Absolutely. Knowing it’s uneven as hell changes how you watch bowlers get smashed – sometimes luck, sometimes just hitting towards some lazy groundskeeper’s shortcut field.
yadanarbon 